The "D" Word :(

Well, the last time I posted on here was in April...talking about my baby sister and how she was battling endometrial cancer.  Well, she lost the battle and on June 14, 2013.  Her suffering was over.  She passed away.  She died.  :(

Wow....I hate saying that word.  Died.  I think I have avoided saying it....or using it at all.  She passed away.  And I am sad about that.  Come on...she was 42!!  She had a lot of life left in her.  Forty two is far too young to die, right???  But we all know that cancer doesn't discriminate.  Ugh. 

This has been one of the hardest things I've ever had to deal with.  I spent the last 5 weeks of her life with her and I am so glad that I did.  I mean, she was in a hospital bed for 99% of the time, but at least I got to spent time with her when she was alert, awake, coherent, able to talk.  Memories were made during that time that I will cherish for the rest of my life.  

I always knew that I loved my sister....all of my sisters for that matter...but I guess I never really knew the depth of that love until I lost one.  I can't even begin to explain the range of emotions and feelings that I have.  Normal stuff?  Perhaps.  I dunno...I just feel like something is missing.  And I suppose something IS missing. My baby sister.  

I miss her.  :(

This sucks.  It hurts.  And it just pisses me off!  Is it normal to feel 1000 emotions??  At the same time???  Ugh again.  

I take comfort in the fact that someday I will see her again.  But right now, I miss her....and I think that's perfectly normal.  

I love you, Bickett.  <3